Patricia Spork

Writer & Digial Photo Artist

Sock Monkey Poem and Images

SockMonkeyFDPPSpork09tSockMonkey2BkPSpork09tDiddled with a couple pics taken of a sock monkey. Used filter effects to create the digital photo art images, which are not fabulous, but you might can use them for one thing or another.  Then, wrote short poem about the sock monkey. Not great poem, but the pics and images might inspire you to one-up on me. LOL! Welcome to all for Personal or Commercial use as long as I’m credited, somehow, and if not done in defamatory, slanderous or pornographic way. Click on thumbnails to access and download larger images.

Vintage Sock Monkey

By Patricia Spork

Clean socks filled,
sewn to bond,
monkey doll’s
floppy bod;

Red pom-pom
—sometimes—
adorn
hatted top,

While red lips
—always—
smile
stuffed bottom.

Cat Poop Soup by Patricia Spork

Cat Poop Soup

By Patricia Spork

Children can be just as destructive, witty, annoying, intelligent, and creative as life-seasoned adults. I know, because I bore a couple of miniature replicas that grew up and became more like me than I want to acknowledge.

Because of my on-the-job mother and grandmother experiences, I’ve come to the realization that children should be classified as “lethal weapons”. Place one over-rambunctious child in a room full of non-parents and you’ll empty it. Guaranteed! It’s kind of like announcing a bomb threat—everyone evacuates.

Not that it’s the child’s fault—it’s just that all children do what they do too good. And what most children do is drive grown-up people crazy.

Witty kids like to play jokes, like pretending they don’t hear you when they really do. Children like this never get their rooms cleaned because they don’t hear “clean your room” until you’re hoarse from repeating the line a trillion times and blue in the face from overexertion. Then you must revert to threatening the kids with a fly swatter, perchance being labeled a child abuser. Who’s abusing whom here?

Annoying children are the ones that repeatedly question you. It seems like the only words these kids know are “what,” “why,” “who,” “how,” and “where”. Amazing that these particular children don’t all grow up to be award-winning journalists; they definitely have the traits for that profession.

Then there are the children who know everything . . . I mean everything. You try to explain something and you’re told “I know that.” You listen to irrelevant details about . . . whatever. You try to persuade the children to the truth of the matter. Try as hard as you like, but you can’t change these kids’ minds. They know everything. It’s better to just give up. Why continue to frazzle your brain when it’s frazzled enough by this time? Believe me, surrender is your best and only option.”

Creative children never leave you to wonder about the miracle of living . . . or laughing. These children can take any item we consider useless and make it into a work of art. They are the ones who smear poop on the wall before you change the diaper, write on everything from bed sheets to dressers with crayons, and stir-up cat poop soup from the litter box. Prime health is an important factor when you have one of these children. If you smoke, consider quitting, because you’ll need the extra breaths for clean-up jobs that you’ll definitely encounter.

If you’re lucky, you’ll have children that are inbred with all of these characteristics. The changing attributions spark fear in nosy neighbors and can be used as an excellent excuse to avoid social gatherings. A little cat poop soup in the face never hurt anybody, but it sure hastens away unavoidable houseguests. For that reason alone, I recommend 1-2 kids a household. Anymore then that and you might need to hire a professional pooper-scooper.

To save the expense, load up on plenty of cleaning supplies, earplugs, depressants and muscle relaxants (if needed). Know that in the end, there is nothing as rewarding as “I love you” from the pouty lips of a clone-like image of yourself.

Copyright 2000-2009 Patricia Spork, All Rights Reserved Worldwide

Patricia Spork is a freelance writer and digital photo artist residing in Texas. Her works have appeared in publications online and off, in the U.S. and abroad. Visit her Web site: http://www.patriciaspork.us/

You may copy and use “Cat Poop Soup” by Patricia Spork, with these rights: One-Time Serial Electronic Publication Internet Use-Only Reprint Rights and Online Archive Rights. Article must remain fully intact as is, with byline, copyright notice, and bio included; and article is not to be used in any defamatory, slanderous or pornographic way. Thank you!


Blog Post Changes and Trial Subscription

HUAA150springcoversmallTThe blog posts about “Spring Season Headers” and “Haiku Used and Abused” are now only accessible to registered members. To stay updated about new additions, visitors and members should subscribe to the RSS feed or e-mail delivery, since I’ll still blog about all content added to site. E-mail delivery option can be found by clicking on the RSS button.

Again offering the “Trial”  subscription (Fee: $4.95), which allows for 1 day access to all content onsite. To reap the benefit of that subscription, you should wait awhile until more products are added. And don’t think a bunch of IM (Internet Marketing) crap will be offered here, for it won’t. Occasionally, yes, but for the most part, I’ll be pretty picky about reseller products (other than mine – LOL!) chosen for this site. Since I love graphics, you’ll see a lot of them here (mine or by other folks), plus writings (articles, poems, etc.), since I like to write. You’ll also see e-books I’ve written, or those that interest me, written by someone else. On occasion, scripts or software will be added, but you’ll hardly ever (if ever) see videos, for I hate the download time and imagine a few other people feel likewise. Generally, individual downloads won’t exceed 15 MBs.

I’m really looking forward to filling this site with items I deem worthy enough to be here, especially since it’s tweaked to perfection. Okay, maybe not perfection, but at least the site is operating like it should be for my purposes (thus far – hahah!). Yup, tomorrow, all could be another story. Yikes! Let’s don’t go there.

Anyhoo, appreciate your interest in what I’m doing.

Enjoy your time on the Internet. Me, I need to check mail, so catch ya’ll at a later date.

Toodles,

Patricia

Tree Frog Belly-Side Up Image

TreeFrogPSpork08TThis green tree frog was suctioned to the exterior side of a glass sliding door. I was inside, preparing to let the dogs outside when I noticed the little fella (or gal). Being the frog was about one-quarter of the way up from bottom of door and about mid-center, I had to squat to take the shot, which took tremendous effort because I was down in my back in extreme pain. To make matters worse, it was night and light reflected on the glass from camera flash, porch light and interior home lighting. But, trying several methods from angled shots to various lighting techniques, I managed to get a few decent tree frog pictures.

I took the photograph of this belly-side-up tree frog, using a cheap, pocket-size digital camera on Macro setting. The digital image offered is cropped from my original photo, for closer view;  and digitally enhanced and manipulated to get rid of dirty, paw-marked glass and reflections.

You may download  “Tree Frog” Copyright 2008 Patricia Spork for Personal or Commercial Use, online or off, as long as you do not claim copyright and you credit me (Patricia Spork), and its not used in any defamatory, slanderous or pornographic way. Thanks so much!

Get free download by clicking on thumbnail image.

Independence Forever! Free Ebook

IndependenceCov3 Independence Forever! – The United States Flag American Pride by Patricia Spork.

Historical information about the United States flag and Independence Day.

Includes Giveaway rights and e-cover.

Click here for free ebook download.

Have a Safe and Happy July 4th Holiday!